I know what loss feels like, I know what it feels like to think love was wasted and swim in a sea of regrets and what if's, thinking what we could have done differently, maybe we should have fought harder or had less pride, maybe if we were better people things would never have ended in the first place, I know what it feels like to let someone go when all you ever wanted was to have them with you, to be the better person when everything inside of us is raging, when there is more anger than peace, when there is no hope in going back or moving forward and we stay stuck in this tortured replay of our own vivid memories, and we die inside with buried screams and tears of pain, and we want to take it out on the first situation that comes our way, but still by the grace of god and the fact that we love them more than ourselves we find the courage to release them, even when our hearts and minds disagree. 

We know all too well we cannot hold on to something that does not wish to be held on to, so we let go and let god and we curse the whole ride through because their happiness is more important than our own and at the time it feels like we will never experience that kind of love again, it feels like our chest is about to cave in, there is no air, no hope, no light, no reason to want to live our lives anymore, this emptiness that seems to find its way in everything we do and say, we've cried so long our tears are dehydrated, and we internalize everything and pretend to be strong, we put our mask on and walk around like zombies instead of seeing the experience and learning from it we stay stuck wallowing in misery. - Yeah I know what that feels like, I am living proof live does goes on with or with out us, but I can tell you this, there is so much more out there than our emotions lead us on to believe and the day will come for us to love again even if its learning to love ourselves and life truly is beautiful, I learned to use my emotions as the fuel to push me forward, I've learned nothing lasts forever so I make the best of this moment no matter what, I look back with gratitude, the sorrow still exists only I have learned to make peace with it, it has humbled me on this journey but most important I have learned to never give up and to never fear experiencing new experiences and for me thats says a lot; just like caterpillars the moment we feel our lives are truly over is the same moment our lives begin - to all my butterflies - ~Will "Story" Rivera

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