I woke to my dream journal this morning, with a vague memory of anything that transpired in my dream world, only to find written in chicken scratch handwriting, “write from your mind’s eye”, tell your story through your mind’s eye”, I became completely puzzled and confused, so my only guess is that for today’s post I will speak from a sensitive place, I generally keep myself out of.

Growing up my grandmother was an alcoholic, very abusive and bitter at the world, she tortured my siblings and I, many believed she had some deep rooted mental illness, she was selfish, scared, but most of all she hated herself, it’s so sad, and that is exactly how I remember her, not for her mistakes and how she treated my family and I, but for the pain she felt, the isolation she created from the world, she was completely miserable, there was a pain in her eyes that I cannot even put into words, like a cry for help, but no one could bare to be in her presence to even entertain the issue, it took me a long time to forgive myself, not because of how I felt or my actions, but because of my choice to turn a blind eye to another soul’s pain, closed off my understanding, and most of all I never tried to help her to heal herself, because of my own selfish reasons, never the less life goes on, I have learned from the experience, it took me a long time to see her exactly for what she was, “a beautiful soul in pain”, in my eyes she is more than forgiven, I realize she caused more pain for her own self than she ever did to anyone else.

Through the eye's of ~Will Rivera