“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space”. Pema Chodron

Not allowing your partner to see that you have been hurt will not stop them from hurting you in the future, you can say you don’t care, you can say you don’t give a fuck, you can say it doesn’t hurt but the truth is no matter what you say it will hurt, pain is a part of life. One of the biggest ironies about walls is that they are put up to protect you, to keep an enemy out, but they keep you locked into your pain. 

In all relationships we need to communicate the truth, you’ll never truly experience an intimate relationship if you refuse to be vulnerable, being vulnerable means sharing fears, fantasies, dreams, experiences, the good and the bad. That’s what creates intimacy in any relationship, the fact that I have knowledge that no one else possesses and the responsibility to protect that knowledge. I can trust you with this information, because I know you won’t use it against me; you can tell me you were abused or molested, you can tell me about the terrible treatment of your past relationships, and I will cover you where you’ve been hurt.

Shutting yourself off to the world and developing a numb attitude is the easy way out, it is in no way a form of strength, and it is cowardice and fear at its best. Unfortunately as hard as that hits home, it’s the truth. Its takes grave courage to be vulnerable, it takes courage to trust, it takes courage to let go and risk being hurt over and over again through life, it is that courage that keeps you learning and growing emotionally and spiritually. This in no way means to allow people to walk all over you and degrade you, it just means that in life we will encounter ups and downs regardless of who we are dealing with, there is no one person out there who will guarantee a lifelong relationship with out some mistakes and pains.