Why is it so easy to lend a helping hand when others need it, but when it is time for us to accept the same blessings, we refuse it like the plague?

I have found one of the most difficult things in my life is learning to be ok with accepting help, accepting help not only from my family, but from my friends and strangers.

I have for a long time felt that I could make it through life without the help of anyone, in fact I used to be proud of this ideology. Slowly but surely, over the years I have come to realize that refusing help, and the “pretending I don’t need it attitude,” will never allow me to make the most of my life. I thought I would share what I have learned with those who have shared in these same feelings. Hopefully this will help you to better understand why we refuse the help we so desperately are in need of.

Feelings and Some Thoughts..….

1) We don't believe that we are worthy of help and generosity.

When we accept help from others it is truly a form of taking care of ourselves, by allowing others to care of us and lend a hand, we are sending a message to ourselves and to the universe that we deserve kindness and assistance, and that in turn will attract more kindness and much needed assistance.

2) We don't want to inconvenience others.

This is my favorite rational to use when I make excuses to say no to those who want to help me. The real truth is most people will not offer help unless they are able too. And, if you suspect the opposite, try to separate their lack of assertiveness from the validity of your request. You can only be responsible for your own behavior; and if you have a balanced and humble approach to asking for help, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

3) We figure that we will do it better than anyone else.

Have you ever heard the saying, "If you want something done right, you better do it yourself?" If this motto hits close to home, you probably know intimately what it is like to juggling yourself with too many things because you feel you have to have that sense of control. Often, there is a predicament between wanting to have your hand in everything to ensure things are done correctly and resenting the responsibility and burden. It comes down to choosing your battles, regardless of what is getting in the way of accepting help with others, make peace with your demons and realize just how worthy you are of good things. Embrace all the support you are offered, and cherish that the fact that you are surrounded by people who truly care. There are many who struggle and suffer alone and most people don’t ever get the chance to say no to help because often times it’s just not available in their world.  

As hard as it may be for me, I work everyday to swallow my pride and learn to be thankful and appreciative of my options, of the fact that i can even be torn with these types of decisions, I remind myself just how lucky I am to even have people who care....