When I think about how dark things got, how I let this manifest so far, why I ever allowed her to put her hands on me, why I ever believed it was love, walking down the street in my boxers bare feet, screaming to anyone who would listen, my cries falling on deaf ears, they were used to this behavior, so no one ever called the police, and she new I would forgive her, so I lost myself in her darkness, lost my love for life, it was hard to stay away, I wanted so much to change her behaviors, i wanted to be a loving partner, to prove to myself I could save this one soul, I was so scared, never could muster up the courage to stand up for myself, most of the time she had everyone fooled, I even considered myself to be the one to blame, she made me feel like no one would come to love me like she supposedly did, it was the epitome of emotional and physical abuse, humiliation at its best, I never even told my family, I once put a restraining order, but with time removed it because of the guilt I allowed her to lay on me, my friends already considered me dead, no one ever expected me to walk away breathing, it felt like there was no way out, no answer or hope, I always saw the good in her, giving her the benefit of the doubt, hoping one day she wood see the light, but it never came to that, she was the darkest star I ever embraced, by the grace of the god I did not give faith to, I finally left with the little part of what once used to be a beautiful soul, it took me years to heal, years to finally re-find my sense of innocents, I had to take a real good look at myself, finally forgave her, learned from the experience, made myself the ultimate promise; I will never allow myself to be in the position ever again, what we shared for all those years was NOT love, only dependency.

I am worth more than that. ~Will Rivera